


we'll grow old together

by SpankMyAstonMartin



Series: the demon fic [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I am so sorry, POV Second Person, sometimes i like to make myself and others upset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 08:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11271936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpankMyAstonMartin/pseuds/SpankMyAstonMartin
Summary: "A house on a hillside," you say and smile when she giggles and says, "Sure thing, babe."





	we'll grow old together

**Author's Note:**

> HEY.
> 
> I strongly suggest you listen to Parachute's 'Forever and Always' either prior to or while reading this for maximum effect.
> 
> Again, I am so sorry. Especially since it's been a while since I posted anything and then I dump this on you guys.

You get home first, dropping your keys onto the table near the door, setting your gun into the drawer of the table shortly after that. You rummage through the mail you picked up on the way into the building. You sort them into three neat piles, one for each of you individually and a smaller pile of mail addressed to the two of you.

You reach for the folder of take out menus you guys keep in a corner of the kitchen island, a necessity the two of you needed in the place you bought together. It’s where the two of you had breakfast every day for almost a month until you had enough time off work, both official and unofficial, to go shopping for a dining room table together. (Which you barely use when it’s just the two of you. You only really use it when the rest of the Super Friends come over for Game Night or when Kara comes by for dinner or Sister Night.)

You sift through the menus but find that you can’t decide what you really want to eat. So you set aside three for her to choose from when she gets home. You opt for a shower where you can have the water as hot as you want without her complaining, after which you settle on the couch to watch one of the shows you have on your separate Netflix account. (The two of you learned early on that three accounts, one for each of you and a shared one, was best so that your choices didn’t affect each other’s suggestions. There’s also a fourth account for Kara when she crashes at your apartment during thunderstorms.)

You don’t realize you’ve fallen asleep until you wake up an episode and a half later. You glance at the clock to see that it’s almost ten o’clock.

She’s still not home and you don’t have any text messages or missed phone calls from her. Odd, but not completely out of the ordinary. There are occasions where your jobs make it really hard to call or check in with each other until whatever you’re involved in has finished. You send her a text asking if you should wait up for her. You don’t get a response in the ten minutes you spend staring at your phone, barely listening to what’s happening on the television screen.

You decide you’re going to get some paperwork done while you wait. The two of you can never seem to sleep without knowing if the other is either working late or on their way home. Not after the Rick Malverne incident.

It’s close to midnight when you check your phone again. You’ve finished most of your paperwork and she still hasn’t checked in. You swallow the lump in your throat, kick down the panic rising in your gut. You tell yourself that you’re not going to be that fiancée. You’re not going to call or text repeatedly to find out where she is. You’re not going to call her work to see if she’s still there. She probably is, checking up on lab results for her latest case, the one you two are working different angles on together.

At twelve thirty there’s still no sign of her. You look out the window to see if maybe she’s arrived while you began pacing around the kitchen. Maybe you’ll see her bike parked in her spot and she’s on her way up. The parking spot next to yours is empty.

Your phone rings and it startles you enough that you jump, your hand automatically reaching for the gun that would be at your hip if you weren’t at home. It’s her. You take a moment to stare at the picture of the two of you that fills the screen.

James took it back in December. The two of you had gone on a vacation to Hawaii. Both of your bosses had told you two to take a week off and go somewhere that wasn’t the NCPD or the DEO after a particularly tiring case involving another pissed off Infernian and a Hellgrammite.

The two of you didn’t step foot into the ocean until about halfway through your trip; you spent most of the first half hiking in the morning and sightseeing in the afternoon. One of you had grown up in a landlocked state. The other had been kidnapped and nearly drowned. So it was expected that neither of you were rushing into the water. That didn’t mean that you didn’t go to the beach, that you both didn’t take the opportunity to wear bikinis neither of you would wear when the Super Friends were around for Kara’s sake.

But eventually you made it into the water when you visited a beach with no waves. You even bought goggles and snorkels to check out the ocean life hanging around the corals in the shallow water.

The last full day of your vacation you revisit that beach as the sun starts to set. Your bags are packed and sitting by the door of your hotel room. Your flight leaves before the sun rises tomorrow because it’s Winn’s birthday and you both wanted to get back in time to spend most of the day with him and the others.

You walk along the water hand in hand, talking about eventually moving out of the city. You won’t move too far. The two of you would never move somewhere that you couldn’t reach Kara in under half an hour. Just, you know, somewhere just outside of National City.

“A house on a hillside,” you say and smile when she giggles and says, “Sure thing, babe.”

She lets go of your hand and you don’t realize it until you’ve taken a couple of steps forward. You turn and it’s like the air has been sucked from your lungs. She’s bent down on one knee, holding a little velvet box much like the one you have tucked in your desk at work. She starts talking about how you both agreed that the first proposal after the Daxamite invasion didn’t really count so she’d spent the last several months thinking about how to plan the perfect proposal but the timing was never right so she just thought ‘fuck it’ and brought the ring she picked out with Kara, Winn, and James with her on your vacation and has been waiting to ask you since you landed.

“I want you forever,” she says. “Forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly. We’ll grow old together. Marry me?”

You don’t know you’re crying until you try to speak but your words are unintelligible babble. So you nod your head frantically. She beams at you and you can’t remember a time where she’s looked more beautiful than she does right now. You tell her as much and she laughs and ducks her head. She tells you the same as she slips the ring onto your finger.

“I love you,” you whisper, pulling her in for your first kiss as an engaged couple.

“I love you too,” she says when you part.

Winn is the first to notice your ring when you guys return to National City and you meet the rest of them for lunch. He chokes on his beer and smacks James’ arm, eyes glued on your hand resting on top of the table. You’re too busy listening to Kara’s recap of what happened while you were gone. (Surprisingly, it was a big fat load of nothing on the crime end but she did drop in on an elementary school during a fire drill, thinking it was an actual fire when she heard the alarm. She wound up hanging out with all the kids until the drill was over and stopped by each class before she left.)

“Congratulations!” Winn blurts out. He gestures wildly to your hand. “When did that happen?”

You look over at your fiancée and she smiles, raising a brow as a sign for you to tell the story while Kara squeals and looks close to floating. You both reach over to still her. She takes both of your hands in hers and doesn’t let go until well after you’ve finished telling them about the proposal.

When you get home later you see that James has sent you a picture. It’s of the two of you during lunch. You’re both staring at each other and smiling and looking very much in love. You show her the picture and she makes it your caller ID for her as well as your background.

The phone rings again, bringing you back to the present. You answer the call.

“Hey,” you breathe. “I was getting worried that you weren’t coming home tonight. You on your way?”

You aren’t met with words or silence. You’re met with sniffling and sobbing and mumbling you can’t understand but you know doesn’t belong to her. Your stomach bottoms out when you figure out who is calling you.

“Kara. Kara, what’s wrong?”

“Something happened,” Kara manages to get out between sobs. “I couldn’t – I couldn’t get there in time.”

Your phone drops from your hand and you barely catch yourself as your knees give out. You fall more than slide into the seat in front of you. Your hands shake as you reach to pick up your phone.

“Where?” is all you’re able to get out.

Kara chokes out the name of the hospital in between both of your jobs and home. You grab your wallet and the keys to the car you both share and head out the door.

You’re not entirely sure how you made it to the hospital without getting into an accident or getting pulled over by how fast you’re driving. You vaguely remember turning on the police lights to get there but maybe that’s just a dream. Maybe this is all a dream, you tell yourself as you stumble out of the car. (You did turn on the police lights and that’s the only reason why security at the hospital doesn’t bat an eye when you leave the car at the entrance with the lights still flashing.

You can barely say her name when you get to the front desk and you stumble over the word fiancée when they try to ask you about your relationship to her. Had you been someone else, you might have missed the slight change in their expressions. How wariness turned to pity. Your chest seizes and you have to remind yourself to breathe.

You follow a nurse down what seems like a million hallways, down the maze that seems like it’s never going to end. The nurse talks to you the entire time. She explains what happened, what Kara couldn’t say over the phone. You barely hear her, choosing to tell yourself to breathe, to hold it together because it might not even be that bad and you know you’ll get shit from her if she sees you crying.

You manage to keep it together when you come to a stop outside of her room. You glance through the window, past the little sliver of open space in the curtains. You don’t know what you were expecting but it wasn’t that. You aren’t expecting to see her hooked up to so many IVs, so many monitors. You aren’t expecting her to look so pale, so fragile, so unlike the woman you met on the tarmac almost three years ago, fighting over jurisdiction.

You try to keep your face as neutral as possible when the nurse lets you into the room. She’s sleeping, judging by steady rise and fall of her chest. It’s not a good sleep though; her brows are furrowed and she’s frowning. Your laugh turns into a choked sob. You hold her hand tight. Too tight because she stirs. She opens her eyes and smiles at you. You cry harder.

“Hey, babe,” she manages to say. She squeezes your hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” This time you start laughing and crying. “Why are you apologizing? You weren’t the asshole who ran the red light.”

“But I was running late and I didn’t see him either.”

“What were you even doing?”

She chuckles. “I was trying to check off one of our firsts. I have a friend whose dog just gave birth to some puppies. I wanted to see if any of them looked like a Gertrude.”

“Really? What’d you think?”

“We’re gonna need a bigger apartment. I want them all.”

You sputter and she smiles until you both start laughing. You kiss her hand and nod your head.

“Okay. We’ll get a bigger place and have all the dogs you want.”

“House on a hillside?” She echoes your words from December.

“Sure thing, babe,” you say, echoing her response. “We’ll get a house on a hillside with a pack of dogs.”

“The good life.”

“The best life. We’ll stay there forever.”

“Forever and always.”

You nod as the tears start falling again. You glance up at the monitor above her bed when you notice that the beeping is starting to slow. You kiss her hand again and stand up to get the nurse but she won’t let go of your hand. She shakes her head. Her eyes are starting to droop.

“Don’t want you to go,” she mumbles.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I just – I need to do something.”

You hit the call button for the nurse. It’s then that she lets go of your hand. You meet the nurse at the doorway and ask for the chaplain. There’s a moment where the nurse hesitates but then she also notices the slowed beeping of the monitor. She nods and ducks out of the room.

She returns with the chaplain and another nurse about ten minutes later. She even has a couple of rings from the couple in the next room who overheard what was happening. You thought that you had finished crying for the time being but apparently not because you start again. You barely manage a thank you.

“Babe.”

You go back to her bedside and take her hand again. She looks at the other people in the room and arches a brow. She gives you a lopsided smile.

“You sure about this?” she asks.

“About marrying you? Of course.”

The chaplain says a couple a couple verses, says the usual speech given to couples getting married. He turns to you first when it comes time for the vows. You don’t have anything planned, never really had anything planned because you thought you’d have more time to prepare for your actual wedding next summer.

So you just say whatever comes to mind. You tell her that you want her forever, forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly.

“We’ll grow old together,” you tell her, “and always remember, whether we’re happy or sad or whatever that we’ll still love each other, forever and always.”

By the time you finish your vows, the beeps are getting too slow. Her voice is almost too low when she starts her vows.

“I love you forever, forever and always.” Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes but it’s still enough to take your breath away. “Please just remember even if I’m not there I’ll always love you, forever and always.”

“Alex!”

You hear someone (Winn, you learn later) yell just as she closes her eyes and the beeping turns into one long beep. Her heart has stopped. The nurses rush you and the chaplain out of the room. Another nurse runs past you with the code cart.

Someone (James) grabs you by the arms as you stumble out into the hallway. He pulls you to his chest and turns you away from where you know the nurses, now joined by a handful of doctors, are doing CPR on your wife. You feel yourself being handed off to Kara who is crying and telling you over and over and over that she’s sorry she couldn’t get there in time.

Your chest feels like it’s collapsing in on itself. You try to breathe but you can’t because you keep thinking about her. You keep thinking about the puppies she saw tonight. You keep thinking about moving to a house on a hillside with her and Gertrude and the other unnamed dogs you’re supposed to have. You keep thinking about having an family with her, one with human children. You keep thinking about growing old together. You keep thinking about her.

Except you’re not going to get that now. And you can’t breathe.

Your world stopped at the same time Maggie Sawyer’s heart did.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can find me at trini-kimberly and/or spank-my-aston-martin on Tumblr. Come say hi! I could always use more friends. Or more people to talk about this stuff with. I'm even open to prompts!
> 
> Or you could yell at me...that works too.


End file.
